My beloved is mine, and I am his.

"As an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men." 

Song of Solomon 2:3

       It is no secret that I adore my husband David. Unfortunately, I have grown saddened by the many comments "oh honey, that'll end" or "just wait seven years down the road." Let's get this straight: my adoration for my husband is more than just my attraction for him or my appreciation for his humor, gentleness, and generosity; My adoration is based in the foundation of the very man he is. And that adoration will continue throughout our entire marriage. David is no ordinary man, he is a noble man, and I adore him from the depths of my soul.

   When I first met David, I was a scared and timid woman to say the least. The walls around my heart, thoughts, and desires were comparable to that of the Great Wall of China. Honestly, David worked harder than he should've to finally earn my trust. If I were him, I would've given up on me. But I am not David, he never gave up. I am so thankful for his strength and his nobility. His pursuit of me has never stopped, he has never failed me, and he has loved me with all he has. 

 His insight, wisdom, and discernment have been unfailing since day one. In my eyes our love story is unique and beautiful. David has loved me like Solomon and his bride...… in my opinion thats one epic love story. 

"Do not gaze at me because I am dark, because the sun has looked upon me. My mother's son were angry with me; they made me keeper of the vineyards, but my own vineyard I have not kept! Tell me whom my soul loves, where you pasture your flock, where you make it lie down at noon; for why should I be like one who veils herself beside the flocks of your companions?" Song of Solomon 1:6-7

This passage in Song of Solomon depicts a very common reality among women, including myself: a lack of self-esteem and self-worth. This issue of self-esteem and self-worth not only had caused issue with the decisions in my life but also with my faith. If I did not know my worth in Christ, how would I ever notice it in everyday life? This is a problem I have come to notice that lies in the hearts of many women. Even here in the Song of Solomon, we see a woman who questions her worth. This isn't a new thing...insecurities have been around since biblical times. As insightful as David was,  he noticed these insecurities early on. But more interestingly, he didn't use them to his advantage...he gently and courageously helped me see my worth. This was not an overnight process, and I still see how much he cares about showing me my worth and value to this very day. 

"If you do not know, O most beautiful among women, follow the tracks of the flock, and pasture your young goats beside the shepherds' tents. I compare you, my love, to a mare among Pharaoh's chariots. Your cheeks are lovely with ornaments, your neck with strings of jewels."

I will never forget the day I was at my parents and I received a letter from David. He extolled my character in ways that had never been noticed, in ways I didn't even see myself. His gentleness in that letter played out and continues to play out in our everyday lives. David has changed my life in ways that matter. He has change my life in ways that are good and honorable. 

Thanks be to God for David. We couldn't be more perfectly compatible for each other. Granted we are far from perfect people,  we try to be all the God has made us to be. I cannot speak for David, but I hope that I have changed his life in ways that are good and honorable as he has changed mine. He has gently and lovingly shown me the weakness in my faith, has lifted me to speak out, to speak up, and to grow into a woman after God's own heart. As far as I am concerned…David is the best husband anyone could possibly ever have. He cares about the condition of my heart, character, and most importantly my faith. He is helping me grow closer to God each and every day of my life. David has loved me for who I have been, who I am, and the woman I am destined to become. He stands beside me when I make mistakes and guides me back to the narrow path. I will be the first to say, being a husband or wife is no easy task…but it is a beautiful one. Marriage has opened up doors for growth in my life that I never knew were possible, so I remain thankful for my great and noble Husband. I remain thankful to my God who has blessed me with a wonderful Husband whom I get to love the rest of my life. 

I only pray that husbands and wives will choose to  love their spouses as Christ loves them, sees them, and has died for them. I believe this world would be a better place if we could take five minutes and adore our spouses for all that they are.       

Britt     

A future mother's thoughts on the "Soul-mate" myth

I have a possibly controversial, but profound reason why I am not going to teach my future children Plato's mythological "soul-mate" myth...a concept that is rooted in the story of greek gods splitting individuals into two separate beings because of their pride. The two separate beings then search for this half-person to find completion.

I will not be teaching my children they have an earthly "soul-mate," because Christ is the only being that can satisfy the depths of our/their souls. (Philippians 4:19; Colossians 2:9-10;  Ephesians 3:19)

No where in the Bible does God ever discuss  "soul-mates" and I have never personally read a biblical story where this is evident. You can love someone with your soul.....like in Song of Solomon, but this doesn't mean they are the completer of your soul.

The term "soul-mate" implies that everyone was destined to be with someone else. What if God has planned for some to remain single? What if I had never met David, remained single and unmarried the rest of my life...would I be incomplete????

The truth is only Christ can fulfill and complete me (Psalms 109;9) but Christ has most definitely BLESSED me TREMENDOUSLY (I can't even begin to express my thankfulness) with my husband David.. a man who I have chosen to spend life with and selflessly serve, love from the deepest depths of my heart, and encourage the rest of my earthly life; David is the man I have chosen to give sacrificially to as part of the marriage covenant. A covenant I joyously made between David and God. Even more powerful...nowhere in the Bible does it boast that your spouse is the one who is expected to meet all of your needs. Why do we put so much expectation on our spouse to meet our every desire and need...they can't and we cannot meet theirs.....and scripture even guides us to this conclusion.

The "soul-mate" myth that is so deeply rooted in society implies that only one person can make us truly happy in life. If we were honestly happy all the time, how would we grow? How would we become better people? How could we display compassion without first understanding pain?  Unfortunately, I have heard many stories of individuals leaving their spouse because "they're just not the one" or "they just don't make me happy." If we are constantly looking for someone to make us happy 24/7/365, we might as well give up; because there is no possibility of a perfect life only filled with happiness. Life brings both happiness and joy, but it also brings both pain and suffering. Thats the reality of it.

Another honest reality I want my children to consider: we are all sinful people, and sin causes pain..especially to those dear to us. If we come into marriage with the expectation that our spouse is there to say all the right things, be selfless, have respect, be joyful, available, compatible, sinless, compassionate, empathetic, and perfect 24/7, their spouse will ultimately fail, because they are human (Romans 3:23), and honestly we would be married out of our own selfish desires if we expected that from our spouses. Being a helpmate or helpmeet is a beautiful thing and it is also a choice. And while I have yet to be the perfect companion to my husband David, I have the daily choice to love and respect him as the blessing he is and love him with the love of Christ; This is absolutely a choice. A promise that I have made to God to keep. A promise I can choose to get better at each and every day I live, and a promise that I can glorify God with (Ephesians 5:22-23). Woah! Where else in life do you make a covenant to God to love someone in this world like that?

I will never teach my future children about an earthly "soul-mate", but I will joyfully teach them that Christ is their true "soul-mate," and is the only being that can meet all the desires of their heart. I will also teach them the importance of staying steadfast in Christ and to have faith in the fact that He has plans for their life (Jeremiah 29:11).  I will teach them that one day they may be married and the time is now to being praying and considering their possible future spouse in their daily decisions. Their possible future spouse is going to be the one they share this lifetime with...the great, good and the bad; The one they may bear children with, will retire with, may struggle financially with, may experience such incredible loss with, may grieve or rejoice with, may laugh or cry with, may be incredible frustrated with, and may love deeply with. Their possible future spouse is the one that will help them reach heaven and that is not something to take lightly or for granted. The choice of a helpmeet or helpmate should not be made in haste but with deep consideration and prayer....this I will teach my children. But more importantly I will teach my children that they are complete, that they have a savior who died upon the cross for them, and that if they remain unmarried in this life they are complete individuals in Christ no matter what this society may foolishly believe.